Myself (lyrics)

Produced by Cory Grindberg
Full song
Clean version
Music video
-----------

My parents' got some big money problems.
We're all young and were counting on 'em.
Im four years old, you think im bouncin' on 'em?
I just sit back and watch, thinkin' 'bout 'em.

Moms' probably stronger than pops is.
The talk is that the old man has lost it.
Last week he came back from work,
I saw him back on the porch with the glass of milk on his shirt.
He was flippin out.  Mom probably put it there,
Judging by how angry she was it probably should be there.
And both folks know that I'm standing there.
Momma protects me, throws me be hind her back.
Why did papa do that?
Whats that telling me?
The birds cant help but sing a melody.

I ain't stupid
Happy ever after is nothing but a fantasy.
Police are part of our family.
Son and mother look out from the porch,
See fathers head duck under the door.

I believe in nothing.
I believe in myself.
I believe in nothing.
Nothing at all.

My papa got some big anger problems.
I'm getting older and I'm sick about 'em.
Its getting harder just to live around it,
I need to take a stand as a man,
I need to be about it.

So ring around the posie 'round the living room table.
I can't remember what we were arguing about.
I stood up to the scariest man in the country.
I held my head up high as I left the house.
Little boy stood in the face of a dragon.
Left with the heart of a lion. Amazing.
Its funny, I left the house so it could cool down.
But the dragon stayed hot, who's it fooling now.
Papa and the devil sitting in the basement. A R S O N I N G.
Young son headed back to the household.
Runnin' down the block eight fire trucks deep.
Fell to my knees and I screamed in the front yard.
Firemen running round like no ones in charge.
Sort of like when it rains it poors,
See the flames burst out of the door.I believe in nothing.
I believe in myself.
I believe in nothing.
Nothing at all.

Ive learned a lifetime,
A lifetime as a boy.
Evil's on the inside,
Waiting for all.

Got an apartment Im 20 years old,
Finally think that i have everything is under control.
Its been years since i spoke to the man
When he gave me his old cutlass to get out of the sand.
So just like a hyena, i take the meat.
And then i run my ass away, "You need to let me be."
But over time a part of me knew I needed to speak.
That's right when the world decided that it couldn't be.
Its the biggest hurdle thinkin' past tense.
That when a strong man takes his last breath.
I believe in nothing.
I believe in myself.
I believe in nothing.
Nothing at all.