Sunday, December 23, 2012

Interview by The Radical Surprise

The Radical Surprise put a few questions to Prof to answer:
What do you believe to be your greatest accomplishment thus far?
Supporting myself as an adult through rap music.
Major props to Prof for that.  It's a huge step.  Read the whole thing.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Prof - Moron (video)



The velvet tracksuit, the fanny pack... Prof is goofy, no doubt about it.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Slug Interviews Prof About Life, the Universe and Everything

There will be eight parts, one for each song on KVP3.

Part 1: Me Boi





Part 2: Get Some






Part 3: New Kid






Part 4: Roughneck




Part 5: Swimming (feat. Slug)




Part 6: Sex Ed (and Interlude)




Part 7: Borrowed Time



Part 8: Moron

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Utah (lyrics)

Full song
----------

[Hello there Mr. Rockstar.]

Shit.
Man I heard, uh,
You can marry two bitches, in Utah,
Salt Lake City or some shit.
What the fuck am I doing here, y'know what I mean?

Gimme gimme gimme gimme more,
Turn on my TV please,
I want titties galore.
An anorexic is born every day.
It's easy to find cocaine,
What more can I say?

It's easy to lose your way if you play,
Yeah.

She want a big dick man with a six pack
Smell like minnows in the crib,
Where the fish at?
Bitches all over where the Cris at?
Tic-tac-toe in a row,
I could hit that.
I want shit instantly,
Like a microwave dinner right in front of me.
Let's contribute to the hooplah,
Pack up a futon, make our way to Utah.

Sex and drugs,
We all live in America.
It's easy to lose your way if you play.
Yeah.

And so I walk in the party with my B-boy stance,
Don't compare me to the other dude,
He don't dance.
There's enough drink for everybody,
Pee those pants.
I am someone near the top as far as ego stands.
You can leave those pants,
They ain't coming in with me,
That's illegal man.
You can bet I'm a crook, [crook]
In 'n out with your love before you can even look.
Girl this is the USA,
Freedom to eat, fuck, get fat and get paid.
Put your life savings in a bottle of Cris.
Bet that bitch pop,
Throw it on some tits.
If you can't beat 'em join 'em,
Man that's true,
And you wonder what I think that we all should do.
Hmm.
Let's contribute to the hooplah,
Pack up a futon, make our way to Utah.

Sex and drugs,
We all live in America.
It's easy to lose your way if you play.
Yeah.

Eh, eh girl,
You look good to me,
Come and show me your world.
What?
Let me ask a couple questions,
Sex, drugs, alcohol, learn a couple lessons.
'Cause, I'm involved with that daily,
I give you that insight,
You don't have to pay me.
I learn you something real good girl,
I'll open my door,
Let's go dancin'.

Chcka-chcka-ah, chcka-chcka-chcka-ah. [Hey]
 Chcka-chcka-ah, chcka-chcka. [Go girl]
Chcka-chcka-ah, chcka-chcka-chcka-ah. [Hey]
 Chcka-chcka-ah, chcka-chcka. [Go girl]
Chcka-chcka-ah, chcka-chcka-chcka-ah. [Hey]
 Chcka-chcka-ah, chcka-chcka. [Go girl]

Sex and drugs,
We all live in America.
It's easy to loss your way if you play.
Yeah.

I wanna see you dance, see you dance.
See you shake that ass, oh yeah.
I wanna see that now.
I wanna see that now.
I wanna see you dance, see you dance.
See you shake that ass, oh yeah.
I wanna see that now.
I wanna see that now.

Yeah.
Kaiser Von Powderhorn 2.
I hope you enjoyed yourself.
Just wanted to end on this song.
Let you know that, Utah is the state that exemplifies American tradition.
Make yourself up a religion.
Marry as many bitches as you want.
You'll never have to do dishes again.
Carry your guns, drink your booze, fuck unprotected.
Have a couple abortions.
Smoke your fuckin' cigarettes.
They can't tell you shit.
This is America.
Never forget that.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Rules (lyrics)

Full song
----------

Oh yeah.
So basically, you know, I don't want you telling me shit.
I'm not trying to hear anything you got to say.
Tomorrow ain't promised to anybody,
So I ain't hearin' you today.

Rules don't apply to me,
I don't need to see tomorrow, tomorrow.
Rules don't apply to me,
I don't need to see tomorrow, tomorrow.

Check it out.
I'm thinking about putting it in your mouth.
I'm thinking about taking you to my house,
And I'm thinking about messing around on my couch.
I'm thinking about all the things we could do with,
Hold up,
I seen another girl that was fly like you,
I'm thinking about handing out rides for two.
If you down I'm cool.
And if you 'round that's cool.
And if you hold her down that's better.
'Cause I've seen a lot of doll-faced women,
And I'm still screamin' "Independent women forever"
[Forever-ever, forever-ever]
I will love you until the end of time,
As long as you ain't afraid to take charge,
To step up and give a piece of your mind.

Rules don't apply to me,
I don't need to see tomorrow, tomorrow.
Rules don't apply to me,
I don't need to see tomorrow, tomorrow.

Fuck around and get followed,
I seen you coming out of that McDonalds,
I seen your fat mom shop at Marshall's,
For the past three Sundays lookin' gnarly.
I'm patient, what more can I say?
I know you take your garbage out every single Wednesday.
Yeah, bits, don't get ram, up, on.
I leave ya in the alley with your nuts gone.
And I'll be probably be leaving with some puff song.
But I'll be dancing like I got myself a touchdown.
Prof got twinkle toes.
Blowing kisses, throwing mistletoe.
Too much seconds and I'll hit the floor.
Buckin' out, throwing 'bows, I'm invincible.
I got into a fight last night,
And I'm quite sure that it was a dyke last night.
Yep.

Rules don't apply to me,
I don't need to see tomorrow, tomorrow.
Rules don't apply to me,
I don't need to see tomorrow, tomorrow.

Call up the chickens, all the gampos.
Where the strippers at, dubs and the hundos?
Assholes throw bows in the front rows.
No bodybuilders, but real gun shows.
Southside, where they jump folk,
Put it in the air, bud smoke.
Yeah, rules don't apply to me,
A good dude, but I don't even try to be,
'Cause I'm a bad mutherfuck ask if you could rap,
With an asshole such as a mac like myself.
Mr officer, I am a monster,
Involved with illegal things at my concert.
I am considered and immature little kidder,
Then you figured I'm a shit, then you realize I'm a shitter.
I'll make your women scream,
Make the dudes fight.
We gon' do this all night.

Rules don't apply to me, [No they don't now]
I don't need to see tomorrow, tomorrow.
Rules don't apply to me, [Apply to me]
I don't need to see tomorrow, [No I don't now]
Tomorrow. [No I don't now]

Break it down now.
Go girl, go girl, go girl.
Break it down now, go girl.
How you do that there,
How you do that there,
How you do that there,
How you do that there.

Yeah, buddy.

Stepping Out (lyrics)

Full song
----------

Wooh,
Yeah, ladies and gentlemen.

Gonna have a good time tonight, yeah.
KVP
Little bit of cass on me, so we go,
We gon' have fun tonight.
Leave that drama right at home.
We gon' make that sacrifice.
I don't need those two left feet,
You know it ain't that hard to dance.
Leave that drink right on that table,
Come here and shake that ass.

Ooh, whoop dee woo.
You right here, girl,
Now I'm touching you.
Oh lord, I'm filled with joy.
Yeah, oh yeah.

Junction, baby.
That's fine.
Do you believe that? [yeah]
Do you see that, girl? [yeah]
Do you believe that? [yeah]
Do you see that, girl? [yeah]

I believe that, I can see that,
I believe that, girl.
I can see that, I believe that,
I can see that, girl.

Wanna chance to talk to her,
Better have that money right.
Better wash up, better look clean,
Better treat that lady right.

Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Junction, baby.
Let's ride.
Junction baby.
Let's ride.

You looking good, looking nice, yeah.
Let me put my drink down and I'll be right back.
You be looking at me kinda like ya like that.
I be looking at you kinda like I'll wife that.
Hey, girl, just shut your mouth.
I got myself a,
I got the,
I gotta,
I gotta,
I got the,
Yeah, we can go to,
Uh-huh, we can board a,

I wanna wake up with you.
I wanna wake up with you.
I wanna wake up with you.
I wanna wake up with you.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Moron (lyrics)

Beat by Lazerbeak
----------------

Ooh,
What the hell are you doing.
Do the moron, [freak out] do the moron.
Ooh,
What the hell are you doing.
Do the moron, [freak out] do the moron.
Go stupid, Go stupid, Go stupid,
Go stupid, Go stupid, Go stupid,
Go, go, go, go.

You a freak already,
Fuck a seat, you go freak on steady,
Best believe I got ta heat up,
Heavy keep on and on and leave all the problems with your momma
We gon' keep on steppin'.
Abera-cadabera I'm an animal,
Why is everybody gotta dance on my canical?
I'm in the heart of the beast.
This is May day baby, powderhorn's elite.

Listen  [Hush hush, now]
You better use that. [Use that]
You're momma made that. [Made that]
You better use that. [Use that]
You're momma made that. [Ever getcha that, baby]
You better use that. [Use that]
You're momma made that [Ever getcha that, baby]
Make it work, work, work.

Ooh,
What the hell are you doing. [Freak out]
Do the moron, [freak out] do the moron.
Ooh,
What the hell are you doing. [Freak out]
Do the moron, [freak out] do the moron.
Go stupid, Go stupid, Go stupid,
Go stupid, Go stupid, Go stupid,
Go, go, go, go.

Ten minutes later and I'm dancin' like an orphan,
I wanna make sure I get my portion.
I get no pay while I'm workin'.
Shake it like a moron, girl, that's perfect.

So put your right leg in, [Leg in]
And throw your right leg out, [Leg out]
So put your right leg in. [Leg in]
Shake the motherfucker. [Good job]
So put your whole ass in, [Ass in]
And throw that whole ass out, [Ass out]
Put your whole ass in. [Ass in]
Shake the motherfucker. [Good job]

Listen,  [Hush hush, now]
You better use that. [Use that]
You're momma made that. [Made that]
You better use that. [Use that]
You're momma made that. [Ever getcha that, baby]
You better use that. [Use that] 
You're momma made that [Ever getcha that, baby]
Make it work, work, work.

All of us, put 'em up.
Carmela, Julia, Benjamin, Jacqueline, Rafael [Go, go, go]
All of us, put 'em up.
Amberly, Angela, Timothy, Theodore, Pamela [Go, go, go]
Hey.

So put your right leg in, [Leg in]
And throw your right leg out, [Leg out]
So put your right leg in. [Leg in]
Shake the motherfucker. [Good job]
So put your whole ass in, [Ass in]
And throw that whole ass out, [Ass out]
Put your whole ass in. [Ass in]
Shake the motherfucker. [Good job]

Good job.

Sex Ed (lyrics)

Beat by Erick Anderson
Full song
---------------------

Yeah
Feel that.
Yeah.

If you look for satisfaction on the late night say, All right.
All right.
If you know just what it lookin', what it taste like say, All right.
All right.

My momma told me that I'm only as good
As my best dream, baby.
I'd swim if only I could,
That's if you let me baby.
I don't wanna seem like I'm rude,
But I only have my word.
Yeah.
You know that I'm that type of dude,
To make you co-sign and concur.
Yeah.
Sex, sex, sex.
I just want the best, best best.
We can get together, baby.
Hey.
What I want just ain't for myself,
It's in your best interest,
Let's make it happen, baby.
Yeah.

Let me get it now:
One for the money,
Two for the show.
We can rendez-vouz and do some fuckin' on the low.
I'm considered pro,
You like a good meal.
Give me snorkel and I'm divin' like a navy seal.
Never in your long legged life has the pipe been layed just quite like tonight.
Have another drink, it's on me, on me.
Yeah.
When you close your eyes and you're so satisfied on the inside,
Make you wanna sing like,
Tell me what ya think.
I'ma get to know every inch of the highway
Give me the road map.

If you look for satisfaction on the late night say, All right.
All right.
If you know just what it lookin', what it taste like say, All right.
All right.

Your the reason I'm still up,
Don't play.
If I go without a wink of sleep,
Pretty girl have it your way.
But ya know I gotta get mine,
Right after you got yours for the fifth time.
We could move it all the way to the window,
Makin' shimmy and you make it for the this time.
And don't be 'fraid to call a little bit later we could redo it all,
Whenever satisfaction's on your mind.
We can go,
Hey.

If you look for satisfaction on the late night say, All right.
All right.
If you know just what it lookin', what it taste like say, All right.
All right.

Ah,
Five
Six
Seven
Ooh.

Borrowed Time (lyrics)

Full song.
-------------------

I've seen you lie,
You old-ass, one too many times.
What I find, to my surprise,
There is no one who's their own.
Yeah.
[I've learned my patience needs to sleep.]
Wasting time, you're wasting mine.
[I have died my own two hands.]
I will strangle you with my own hands.

Wasting time.

You can count me out' it,
You can write my book and later tell me all about it.
I've seen enough to know that we've been over this,
You're old as hell, your time is up,
Motionless, you're ride is stuck.
You're scared as hell and for good reason.
And I'm burnin' both ends,
'Cause I don't wanna be your age at a horse race breakin' my back over fourth place.
Rather middle of a court case screamin' at your face til the show ends.
They say I drink too much,
That's because I think too much.
We really wastin' time motherfucker,
You'll miss a moment if you blink too much.

We got a reason to tie you up.
We're living at a moment's notice. [Wastin' time]
We got a reason, we can't be bought,
Keep thinking that we losin' focus.

I've raised myself, I'm ready, [To tie you up]
Keep thinkin' that I'm wastin' my time. [Wasting time]
I've raised myself, I'm ready, [To tie you up]
Keep thinkin' I'm outta my mind.

Should I be polite?
Should I leave you 'lone?
Should I let you come and steal my lifeline?
Don't be so vain,
We all got guns.
We'll take what's ours
In your lifetime.
Patience killing me.
I'm getting drunk and breaking everything.
I'm so sick,
My habits don't lie.
I'm killin' myself,
Don't wanna break my stride.
You can't tell me shit,
You're so outta touch.
Stay in my way 'n guaranteed I'll fuck you up.
The pressure's buildin',
It's gettin' loud.
If time is money tell me how to wait around.

I've seen you lie,
You old-ass, one too many times.

We got a reason to tie you up.
We're living at a moment's notice [Wasting time]
We got a reason, we can't be bought.
Keep thinking that we're losing focus.

I've raised myself, I'm ready, [To tie you up]
Keep thinkin' that I'm wastin' my time. [Wastin' time]
I've raised myself, I'm ready, [To tie you up]
Keep thinkin' that I'm outta my mind.

Swimming feat. Slug (lyrics)

Beat by Prof and Dillon Parker
Full song
-----------------

Yeah.

I'm going swimming. [ooh]
Yeah. [ooh]
Can I swim, can I swim, you know I'm swimming. [ooh]
Yeah. I'm cool.

Hey, hot ass day, but the girl got a pool.
She be wet all over but I'm keepin' it cool.
Got my swim trunks on and I'm ready to rock.
I ain't even gotta ask her pops.

I'm going swimming. [come on]
Yeah. [come on]
Can I swim, can I swim, you know I'm swimming. [come on]
Yeah. I'm cool.

The sun beatin' on my head,
Got me up and awake.
So girl you and I should go jump in the lake.
I know you swim, you might be pro.
I can tell how you built that you probably float.

I'm going swimming. [come on]
Yeah. [come on]
Can I swim, can I swim, you know I'm swimming. [come on]
Yeah. I'm cool.

I love flash floods, water up to the shins,
I ain't afraid to eat a half hour 'fore I swim,
You'll get yours girl, now stay in the water,
Don't trip, I can hold my breath for hours.

I'm going swimming. [come on]
Yeah. [come on]
Can I swim, can I swim, you know I'm swimming. [come on]
Yeah. I'm cool.

Ooh, girl, wan' see you get soggy,
Jump in the swamp 'n paddle like a doggy.
Grabbin' on the lactose while I do the backstroke,
Mommy, you can get it like a bad joke.

Happy as a dog gettin' in from the cold.
Ya gotta keep that boy afloat.
Momma him goin'
Left, right, left, right, left, right.

Happy as a cat gettin' in from the cold.
Ya gotta keep that girl afloat.
Gotta hear him goin'
Left, right, left, right, left, right. [I'm cool]

I don't even know why you would wanna be dry.
Wikipedia my name, I'm a quality guy.
So pardon me, the shark in me
Is trying to start the party, and part the sea.

I'm going swimming. [come on]
Yeah. [come on]
Can I swim, can I swim, you know I'm swimming. [come on]
Yeah. I'm cool.

I never ever ever ride a speed boat.
Feel like an ocean when I'm on the weed smoke.
Especially when I'm over on the east coast.
Hurricane, hurricane, let my feet soak.

I'm going swimming. [come on]
Yeah. [come on]
Can I swim, can I swim, you know I'm swimming. [come on]
Yeah. I'm so cool.

I'm swimmin' though, and the women know
You can find me over there at the fishin' hole,
Hanging out with the little homie in that boat.
I'm like a rain storm, I make the rivers grow.

I'm going swimming. [come on]
Yeah. [come on]
Can I swim, can I swim, you know I'm swimming. [come on]
Yeah. I'm cool.

Uh, I'm a missions for the ripest.
I'ma get my feelin' till I've had enough to digest.
And she grabbin' on me like it was a mic check.
Fuck it, I'ma jump without a life vest.

Happy as a dog gettin' in from the cold.
Ya gotta keep that boy afloat.
Momma him goin'
Left, right, left, right, left, right.

Happy as a cat gettin' in from the cold.
Ya gotta keep that girl afloat.
Gotta hear him goin'
Left, right, left, right, left, right.

Shut up.
All the girl love me, I'm so fly.
Chunkin' up the dudes as the player slide by.
It's on when I catch her mind's eye,
She dragged me to the room.
Can I get a high five?

Everyone knows that she's ready.
My brother's gonna take that hoe.
Everyone knows that she's ready.
My brother's gonna take that hoe.
Everyone knows that she's ready.
My brother's gonna take that hoe.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Roughneck (lyrics)


Full Song
----------------

So when I shoot, you'll die!

Yeah, yeah, how's that?
Fuck it.
Huh, hey what the fuck do we have here?
Let's all do it for this one, huh.
Yeah, yeah.

Welcome to the roughneck, I'm King Gampo.
Y'all misbehave, I tell you everything that I know.
Bust your fuckin' kneecap, know I'm top ten.
First I fuck a model, then I fucked her friend.
Motherfucker, who do you think that I am?
He be like,  ?????
So many women in your top ten.
Open them legs and I fall face in, Splash.
Balderdash,
And did you think that you coulda stayed in?
They all be like, Please pay him.
Let me think about it!
No.
You can't convince me to go,
I'm the king of where I am,
You sit back and watch me grow.
How the fuck did you think that this gon' go,
Independent legend already your young goes:

We go dum, dum.
The north side go dum, dum.
The south side go dum, dum.
Welcome to the roughneck, Whyee-Oh!

Bitch, I'm in the streets, ballin' like a Republican.
Last I wet the bed, bitch, you know I'm going dumb again.
Hey what it take for you to see that I'm a goblin?
Ain't nobody fuckin' with the kid, he's a problem.
Hold up, whatcha know about dude right there,
People sayin' that he talkin' about the crew,
Better believe that he's in the wrong spot,
Better get his own rock, then I drop him in the zoo.
Whatta do, whatta do, whatta do,
Man I think I'm about to get this dude.
I'm live-o in a five-oh show,
Shit I'm in trouble.
Buck, I get retarded,
I'm actin' like a toddler.
First I got my head right, then I started robbin' them.
I'm a brute, I'm a muhfuckin' dinosaur.
I'm a bull, you're a doll in a china store.

We go dum, dum.
The north side go dum, dum.
The south side go dum, dum.
Welcome to the roughneck, Whyee-Oh!

Ahem,
Breath smellin' like cunt.
Ya coulda sworn I been gone fishin' all month.
Everybody think they hard and it's cold as shit.
I'm at the rail station drinkin' like fuckin' fish.
Shots in the crew, and we movin' like a trolley does.
Prolly 'cause all of us mobbin' a kinda lot of us.
Cypher heavy as a bull fight.
Kaiser is the matador,
Knock 'em out, kiss 'em good night.
What the fuck you want up on your tomb stone?
Like I need another place for me to try to poop on.
Everybody scemin' bout illegal cut checks.
Ya got yourself got what?
You got a roughneck.

We go dum, dum.
The north side go dum, dum.
The south side go dum, dum.
Welcome to the roughneck, Whyee-Oh!

Aaaahhhh, ffffuck!
Yeah.
Eh man, how do I keep on getting better, man?
Aint' that shit no fair?
All you new cats just getting up on me forgot I been doing this for over a decade.
I got the midwest man, this shit is mine.
Prof, aka Kaiser Von Powderhorn, aka King Gampo.
Fuck wit me.

Get Some (lyrics)

Beat by Julian Fairbanks
Full Song
--------------

Ooooh, I think I 'bout to get me some.
Go ahead.
Ooooh, I think I 'bout to get me some.
Go ahead.
Yeeaahh.
Ooooh, I think I 'bout to get me some.
Go ahead.

I got a few chickens, tryin' to get in here.
Smellin' so good, all you know that they all tender.
They crossed the road, so the goal is to enter.
Prof got his arms wide open, get in here.

I let 'em know [chicka chicka]
Get in here.
I let 'em know [chicka chicka]
Get in here.

Now they wanna fuck the calf before he's a cash cow.
The fast route, girls passed out with they ass out.
Eggs's gettin' stiff,
Pull my mac out.
I max out, time to get me some, playa.

Woooooo, I think I 'bout to get me some.
Go ahead.
Oooooooh, I think I 'bout to get me some.
Go ahead.
Yeeaahh.
Ooooooo, I think I 'bout to get me some.
Go ahead.

If I can see it, then it's mine.
If I can kill it, then it's mine.
Now player, gotta shine.
I'm in the Grand Prix, actin' like a banshee.
Mobbin with the crew,
Hold up, there ya go.

I let 'em know, [chicka chicka]
Get in here.
I let 'em  know, [chicka chicka]
Get in here.
I let 'em  know. [chicka chicka]
Get in here.
I let 'em  know. [chicka chicka]
Get in here.

Oooooooh, I think I 'bout to get me some.
Go ahead.
Oooooooh, I think I 'bout to get me some.
Go ahead.
Yeeaahh.

Kaiser gotta eat.
Kaiser gotta ball.
Kaiser gotta fuck everything in the mall.
Kaiser gotta drink.
Kaiser gotta buck.
Kaiser gotta get that head in the truck.
Put on your velcro shoes, dawg, this 'bout to get retarded.
All eyes on me kinda like you knew I farted.
Done being surrounded by some golden plump chicken.
Buckled up, buttercup, this is just beginnin'.

I'm bigger than what?
[Eh] Say it.
[Eh] Say it.
[Eh]
I'm bigger than what?
[Eh] Say it.
[Eh] Say it.
[Heh]

I get that. (repeating)
Oooooooh, I think I 'bout to get me some.
Go ahead.
Oooooooh, I think I 'bout to get me some.
Go ahead.
Yeeaahh.
Ya la la lalalalala.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Pre-Order KVP3

There are two special editions:

- A signed CD and a poster for $7 $9

- Signed CD, poster, t-shirt, shot glass and condom for $25.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Me Boi (lyrics)


Full Song
Music video
---------------

Ooooaahahahaha
Anyone who opens up a track with a ugly-ass forced laugh got no swag!
Follow me.
What's up Me Boi?
Tryin' to ride with me this year, man, let's go kill summin'.
Ay!

When I come around point 'em out.
I'm 'bout to lay a mothafucka on the ground.
I came to drink. I came to buck.
So I hate it that you think I give a fuck.
I give a fuck! (x7)
Haha
Time to break summin'.

Yeah.
The whole crew's stupid, think we need a short bus.
Party People: they continue to endorse us.
Got our lobotomies you don't needa force us.
Every night we swimming like a porpoise.
So, voila! I'm acting like a moron.
Bottle of the Jame-o, looking for something to pour on.
Hold on. Put your coat on, and throw the note on
The refrigerator I will see you later at the hoe down.
You can marvel at the dick game, baby.
If you hitch hike jump on darling.
I'm known to ride all night on the freeway
And drop 'em all off in the morning.
They be waiting on the road meanwhile a player bouncing.
Me all day keep it one hundred, know me like I'm public housing.
Me think that my bank is growing, I'm glad that I'm getting drunker.
If it is going down I will be there in a flash like

When I come around point 'em out.
I'm 'bout to lay a mothafucka on the ground.
I cam to drink. I came to buck.
So I hate it that you think I give a fuck.
I give a fuck! (x7)
Haha
Time to break summin'.

Put the circus posters up over the billboards.
This the type of party college kids will kill for.
Them chickens walking like they pussy still sore.
It's what I does, what I do, what I'm here for.
I catch a buzz, tie my shoes, I'm an alligator.
I'm a thug, I'm a brute in an elevator.
This little piggy went to market with a partial hard-on and sweatpants on.
If you don't be thinkin' that I'm sortin' on a daily then lady don't get involved.
Checkmate, Mate, I'm a kingpin.
Bread makes toast, chin chin.
By the hairs on my little chinny chin chin,
Will I ever let another rapper fuck with me again?
I would love some beef, I just don't know where to find it.
It's like I'm vegetarian and I don't even mind it.
It's like I've been a plumber but I've never seen shit.
On the front lines my whole life and got clean kicks.
Who's fucking with us? Gon' point him out.
I bet they jump ship when your boy come around.

When I come around point 'em out.
I'm 'bout to lay a mothafucka on the ground.
I cam to drink. I came to buck.
So I hate it that you think I give a fuck.
I give a fuck! (x7)
Haha
Time to break summin'.

Get drunk! Break shit! (x4)

So I'm talking bout Me Boi.
Hey don't go ahead and get arrested and blame me or nothing like that.
Blame your momma!

----------
Lyrics courtesy of Kirk Thunberg except a couple of lines that Prof himself corrected.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Prof CityPages Interview

Minneapolis' CityPages had some words with Prof.  Check it out.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

New Kid feat. Yelawolf (lyrics)

Full song
---------

They have the biggest testicles relative to body size of any male on the planet.

Bitch I got monay!
And I'm so good lookin'.
You could learn something from me!
Your old, I'm new.

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.
Poof, Prof'll rock the party till your teeth are loose.
I'm gorgeous, roll with Chuck Norris's.
Fourty-five houses, thirty-three mortgages.
My boats got boats with jet skis.
Three fuckin' chefs, 'n a Wayne Gretzky.
Sunrise, I'm fuckin' in the gondola,
Friends: Pheobe, Rachel, Monica.
Bravo, finally made it to a dick head.
Shot eighty-nine times, and I ain't even rich yet.
Holy shit, nice.
Bet my pandora station plays Vanilla Ice.
Yippee ki yay, your boy is a Kaiser.
Everywhere I go I'm shittin' on 'em, diapers.
Icky.
I gotcha rethinking about who the best is.
I'm outta my mind, please leave a message.

Bitch I got monay!
And I'm so good lookin'.
You could learn something from me!
Your old, I'm new.

Undeniably the baddest.
I ain't worried long as I know where you dad is.
Uah, Where your cousin at baby?
Roll around the family reunion all crazy.
Meanwhile I got me fishing for a musket.
Baby, busty, gotta big booty.
My sidekick is a moose knuckle.
If I had a weakness, it'd be I'm too humble.
Be bumble, easily see hundos.
Cheese the weeze, the cheese could buy three condos.
Fuck it, I'm the new Kirby Puckett.
Got the state of my back the topic of discussion.
Dick, game, Waka Flocka flame.
When I'm done with them girls they take the walk of fame.
Every single verse hot, your boy don't miss.
Bitch don't front, this whole song is the shit.

Bitch I got monay!
And I'm so good lookin'.
You could learn something from mey!
Your old, I'm new.

(I can't understand some of Yela's lines, so drop a comment if you know what he really says.)

Catfish Billy, I'm coo coo for Coco.
Eat a crackers then I spit back a hobo the rollo.
Eat rappers like wrappers wrapped around packs of no dough.
Yeah the plastic too, twelves and forty-fives playin' slow-mo.
Takin' acid watchin' your mama bounce around my show
With all the friends that she met makin' porno.
Fuck with me I'm put your 2-year-old in a sleeper choke hold,
Record you cryin' and let the engineer leak the vocal.
Don't try to play me out, you can't play with my yo-yo.
I walk the dog, Waka Flocka sheep in SoHo.
I shoulda said I heard, but I heard a sheep is so old.
Dictionary schmictionary, what the fuck do you know?
Go ahead and group those.
Sudo can find the loop holes.
I pop off the cake when you break it just to say, "Yeah I know."
Ruin your day like a Polish prayin' upon your new clothes.
And a butter fresh motherfucker just called me butter fluke-oh.
So tighten your belt, and thin up on your suko,
'Cause I'm makin' the numbers now, three three's in a row.
Hennessey of trees, I'ma leave, but I'm relieved it just won't go.
Getting blow jobs from an F5 in a tornado.
Yeah, blow me down booties, no homo.
I pop eyes like chicken thighs, no gumbo.
So order me up a bucket, fuck it, with an extra biscuit in it,
Then we gonna give it to a heart attack clinic.

Catch me in the chevy bumpin' Yelawolf and Prof e'en though on rocket.

You're old I'm new.

Thursday, August 02, 2012

Get Ready For "PEEP SHOW" Folks!

Tuesday August 7th

YOU HAVE TO LIKE THE VIDEO WHEN YOU FIRST SEE IT. (see explanation below)



Youtube has a page of charts and videos in each category that get more likes get a lot more views from the general public.  So if Prof's video got 20,000 likes in the first day it would be seen by just about everybody.  If it got 5000 likes in the first day it would get seen by everyone who checks the music section.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Myself - Video

Prof released the video for Myself today, May 9 2012.  Enjoy:


He's pretty intense.  That's about how I remember it being when I saw him at the show last summer.

Lyrics here.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Superstyle at SXSW

Prof was at SXSW this year, and I can't embed the video for some reason, so here's a link,  Superstyle.

Monday, March 12, 2012

King Gampo remixes

Prof asked for some King Gampo remixes a while ago, and it looks like they're about to start surfacing.  I'll update this post as new ones show up.

Karma, Budo remix

Yeah Buddy, Evil Bastards remix

Saturday, March 03, 2012

Poor Me (lyrics)

Full song
Clean version (same as original)
Produced by 84 Caprice
---------------

I thought that I would have whatever I want,
Oooh oooh.
Until I turned 16 and I don't' have a Galant.
Vroom vroom.
Meeee, poor me.
Oooh.
My mom and dad are probably gon' have to die tonight.
Meeee, poor me.

I'm so helpless, without my allowance I think I'm useless.
Give me my money, mama.
How are you gonna let your son struggle in the mall all weekend?
Is that what you want me to do, take myself right off the deep end?

Meeee, poor me.
Somebody help me please, help me please.

I'm dying in inside, I don't want to lose my mind.
I'm thinkin' that maybe I'll just sit back down and cry.
I'm dying inside, I don't want to lose my mind.
I'm thinking that maybe I'll just lay back down and die.

Meeee, poor me.

Friday, March 02, 2012

President (lyrics)

Produced by Willie Wonka
Full song
Clean version
----------

I'm the president, I do my thang.
I run this city, I'm the fuckin' king.
Gampo,
Yeah I bring 'em out,
I parties like a motherfucker, help me out.

Yup, two houses on the south side.
I bought land, motherfucker, meet me outside.
I crossed the globe slow, like a tornado.
Fuckin' with the P. R. O. F. is so
Past your honor roll, listen.

Look at this, another party sold out.
I made a movement in the norsk, it's the cold south.
This Ric Flair, it has got me on the swoll, SWOLL!
I'ma catch a million, I'ma buy a BOAT!
Who bucks like me? Kill the club dead.
Who fucks like me? I break the fuckin' bed.
Hustled up some bootstraps, son,
I tightened my belt,
It runs in my city, so I signed myself.
I'm a thorough-bred, Powderhorn is in my nuts.
I keep two of 'em, case some bitches wanna fuck.
People ask me if I'm the best as if that is a question,
If you thinkin' that you can be even with me, I'd find that quite offensive.


I'm the president, I do my thang.
I run this city, I'm the fuckin' king.
Gampo,
Yeah I bring 'em out,
I parties like a motherfucker, help me out.

I'm the president, I do my thang.
I run this city, I'm the fuckin' king.
Gampo,
Yeah I bring 'em out,
I parties like a motherfucker, help me out.

Back to the fast life, I'm a crack pipe,
And I guess my pace is sick.
Waitresses,
Put 'em all together till their faces kiss,
Basic shit.
These rappers shows is so bogus,
Oh no what a waste this is.
So sue me, Susie, spray a uzis in the path where the plaintiffs shits.
These whiskey muscles got me on the pump,
Today I'm 'bout to ride an elephant around the southside,
Eat some pussy for lunch.

Because this Ric Flair got me on the swoll, SWOLL!
I'ma catch a million, I'ma buy a BOAT!

Fuckin' rappers, they all dog shit.
They can get on their knees, I need my balls licked.
I need the whip fast, whiplash homeboy,
Get cash, own toys, piss test, NO!
Point blank is I remain the wildest MC in the state.
Catch a quick buzz and I lift up shot for shot try to keep pace.
Put it all together and you'll never find another rapper that will do a show like me.
I do what I want, whenever I feel, walk in the White House I don't even show ID!


I'm the president, I do my thang.
I run this city, I'm the fuckin' king.
Gampo,
Yeah I bring 'em out,
I parties like a motherfucker, help me out.

I'm the president, I do my thang.
I run this city, I'm the fuckin' king.
Gampo,
Yeah I bring 'em out,
I parties like a motherfucker, help me out.



Saturday, January 28, 2012

Kaiser Von Powderhorn 3 Preview

The Stophouse twitter account linked to a Get Cryphy mix which has buried somewhere in its 42 minutes a song from the upcoming KVP3 called "Goblin."

I haven't had a chance to listen to the whole thing yet, but when I do I'll update this post with where in the mix it is.

UPDATE:
"Goblin" starts at 5:56, and here's just that section of the mix cut out:



New Kid feat Yelawolf

Friday, January 13, 2012

Daughter feat. Brother Ali (lyrics)


Produced by DJ Absolute
Full song
Clean version
----------

When you're out there in the woods,
And finally find something you love,
Better take what's yours.
If I raised her all on my own,
If you see her cry, sing a lullaby, yeah.
You'll die when you see her fly when she's gone.
Yeah

Suck my dick get a face-full.
Why can't Prof be all about the pesos?
So unapologetic,
I give a shit about your chicken's little rhetoric.
My girl don't take no shit,
Try to put a muzzle on me then I'm burning a bridge.
Motherfucker, respect my animal,
Push me in a corner I'll split your cantaloupe.
All the haters that don't like my shit,
If you really got a problem come and fight me, bitch.
Never before so many heads been talking,
Like they can jump in my shoes and start walking.
Everybody wants money where there ain't none,
We'll see who's standing when the race done.
I don't want to be found, I'm a needle,
Privileged enough to be built by the people.
That means I only got one boss,
I see 'em every time I look in the crowd.
I pledge my allegiance to them,
This is slop house baby let the story begin.
When you're out there in the woods,
And finally find something you love,
Better take what's yours.
If I raised her all on my own,
If you see her cry, sing a lullaby, yeah.
You'll die when you see her fly when she's gone.
Yeah

God God God given.
You don't gotten follow my religion to recognize that I'm different.
Can't contain it, grab it, tame it, chain, cage or enslave my dedication.
No second place in the race to make it,
Lace up your shoes for the marathon, chase it.
Sweated on stage a decade and came close enough to wipe sweat off the face of greatness.
Y'all got low expectations,
Hit first base and start celebrating.
Chest inflated, saying that you made it,
Pouring Gatorade on each other's faces.
Waste of the space you take,
What y'all call scrapin' is our vacation.
I was of the day where always creating,
By yours truly, I literally make shift.
Dictate haters, take dick,
But I don't give a fuck so they can't take shit.
Prof, let me say and extra Minnesohta,
I don't give a fah-hah-hack, roll home.
When you're out there in the woods,
And finally find something you love,
Better take what's yours.
If I raised her all on my own,
If you see her cry, sing a lullaby, yeah.
You'll die when you see her fly when she's gone.
Yeah

Hush baby, don't say a word,
Don't you ever be afraid to surge.
I watch you spread your wings and fly no matter how much it hurts.
Single father, doubled as a mother,
Kept her out of harms way, trouble never touched her.
Never had nothing but each other,
Whether we strive or suffer or thrive or go hungry.
Nurtured and loved her to a full grown woman,
Now ducks wanna jump up and try to rush her.
Pardon my thug if it make wanna scuffle and make me knock the block off one of y'all motherfuckers.

Immaculate inception,
I made her by myself when I was drunk.
She spit, fuck, cuss like a muhfuck,
She finally coming into her own.
And now you want up into my home,
Talking about you want custody, leave us alone.
La dee da dee, we like to party,
You can take her over my dead body.

If I raised her all on my own
If you see her cry, sing a lullaby, yeah
You'll die when you see her fly when she's gone
Yeah

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Lucky (lyrics)


Produced by M. C. Rentz
Full song
Clean version
---------

A poor boy, she's a real rich girl, and that's the story, aye-yeah.

Give me one small shot, see that girl over there looking like a snob?
She look like a little wealthy angel, I'll impress here with my gampo talk.
I say my name, she says her's too.
She flipped me the bird and her friends laugh like it's cool, yeah.

Man, I swear to god I'll be as rich as you,
I just need a little time.
Don't you be conceited, even though you're cute,
I can make you change your mind.

She treats me like a punk,
If I knew any better I would say she's a cunt,
If I knew her any better I would say she's a manipulating bitch of a witch with some boobs in the front.
She smiles well, you can tell her friends
I think I'm in love with this girl, I'm saying ooooooh.
I want to see her every single day,
She's looking at me like I'm dumb,
But I really wanna walk her home.
Her daddy said my money ain't long, ain't long, ain't loooooooong, long enough.
Say oooh girl,
Do you think I'm some sort of fool, girl?
Hey-yeah.
Man, I swear to god I'll be as rich as you,
I just need a little time.
Don't you be conceited, even though you're cute,
I can make you change your mind.

Wherever she goes, wherever, I'll be right on her toes,
That's my darling.

Baby looking good and if I think about a way that I could impress her I would,
Like if I started lifting weights, or if I beat a bully up, I think that is what is up,
I could make money selling drugs, and just like her daddy I'd be ballin'.
But that's quite a pipe dream.
Pretty sure that this little itty bitty evil slut maybe don't even slightly like me.
I'm slightly smarter, and she's slightly retarded,
And she swung and lightly slapped me when I slightly farted.
She's super super tan, me I'm a clever young hooligan.
I got the swagger no matter what mood I'm in.
How chould she not understand how cool I am?
She's acting sassy because I ain't got no dollars.
I swear I'll be rich and famous then come back and holler.
Man, I swear to god I'll be as rich as you,
I just need a little time.
Don't you be conceited, even though you're cute,
I can make you change your mind.

Man, I swear to god I'll be as rich as you,
I just need a little time.
Don't you be conceited, even though you're cute,
I can make you change your mind.

Myself (lyrics)


Produced by Cory Grindberg
Full song
Clean version
Music video
-----------

My parents' got some big money problems.
We're all young and were counting on 'em.
Im four years old, you think im bouncin' on 'em?
I just sit back and watch, thinkin' 'bout 'em.

Moms' probably stronger than pops is.
The talk is that the old man has lost it.
Last week he came back from work,
I saw him back on the porch with the glass of milk on his shirt.
He was flippin out.  Mom probably put it there,
Judging by how angry she was it probably should be there.
And both folks know that I'm standing there.
Momma protects me, throws me be hind her back.
Why did papa do that?
Whats that telling me?
The birds cant help but sing a melody.

I ain't stupid
Happy ever after is nothing but a fantasy.
Police are part of our family.
Son and mother look out from the porch,
See fathers head duck under the door.

I believe in nothing.
I believe in myself.
I believe in nothing.
Nothing at all.

My papa got some big anger problems.
I'm getting older and I'm sick about 'em.
Its getting harder just to live around it,
I need to take a stand as a man,
I need to be about it.

So ring around the posie 'round the living room table.
I can't remember what we were arguing about.
I stood up to the scariest man in the country.
I held my head up high as I left the house.
Little boy stood in the face of a dragon.
Left with the heart of a lion. Amazing.
Its funny, I left the house so it could cool down.
But the dragon stayed hot, who's it fooling now.
Papa and the devil sitting in the basement. A R S O N I N G.
Young son headed back to the household.
Runnin' down the block eight fire trucks deep.
Fell to my knees and I screamed in the front yard.
Firemen running round like no ones in charge.
Sort of like when it rains it poors,
See the flames burst out of the door.I believe in nothing.
I believe in myself.
I believe in nothing.
Nothing at all.

Ive learned a lifetime,
A lifetime as a boy.
Evil's on the inside,
Waiting for all.

Got an apartment Im 20 years old,
Finally think that i have everything is under control.
Its been years since i spoke to the man
When he gave me his old cutlass to get out of the sand.
So just like a hyena, i take the meat.
And then i run my ass away, "You need to let me be."
But over time a part of me knew I needed to speak.
That's right when the world decided that it couldn't be.
Its the biggest hurdle thinkin' past tense.
That when a strong man takes his last breath.
I believe in nothing.
I believe in myself.
I believe in nothing.
Nothing at all.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Gampo Music Video



Watch it, like it, comment on it, and then watch it 20 more times.
Long live Prof.

Monday, January 09, 2012

Music Video for "Gampo"


If every one of Prof's facebook fans likes the video tomorrow, it could make it to Youtube's "most liked today" list, and that'll get the video a lot more views than it would normally get.  


Do it muh-fuckuhs.

UPDATE Jan 10:
Watch the video. 

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Gypsy Airplane

This ditty hangs off the end of Need Your Love.
-------------------

Hey fellas. Gather round, for a story about the gypsy.

I think I need pussy on this airplane
So I look around and spot a chick
I see if she want to have a fucky
She replies, "come on let's see your dick."

We head back to bathroom for a quickie
She says that she does this all the time
She pulls down her panties and I'm worried
Because this bitch's dick is big as mine! 
AYE!

Lyrics courtesy ZombieBrides' Youtube video.